The aftermath

So sorry it has been so long since i posted. but in case you haven't heard, i am home and no longer in uganda. This is a topic that is hard for me to talk about, which is why the silence has ensured for so long. But i am ready to talk about the weeks wrapping up my experience living in one of the greatest places on earth. it was definately my first international experience but it will NOT be my last.

So, where to begin.... my first real reality check that i was leaving happened when we went to the Bunabuyoka Village. CFA had put together a thing called THANKS giving. It was a huge feast/celebration where we got to talk with the community leaders and express our happiness and joy in working with them and our excitement about the future of the health clinic. the meeting was a bit longer than i would have liked.... 2 hours too long :) but it was important to them and so that is why i tried to be patient. So after the meeting we all got in a circle around the clinic and prayed for it... it kinda felt like we were dedicating it, which was an experience in and of itself. After that we were able to plant a few trees with some of the community. which i was actually dreading cause  thought it would be weird, but it was kinda fun. that's when i think it first hit that i wasn't going to be coming back up to the village the following week...i was planting these trees and were not going to be able to see them grow at all...i had a somber moment or two. Then the best part of the day. We got to go into the school where the kids had picked banana fibers and had paint and we dressed them and made war paint on their faces and then they painted our faces. It was so fun because they were so excited to teach us more about their culture and i think maybe a little to see us mzungus with paint on our faces...
Then we had the best feast. literally felt like an American thanksgiving with Ugandan food and it was so incredibly good.

it was so incredibly hard to say goodbye to them. but i held on to the fact that i will see them again. it still hurts my heart a little bit to think about that last night. but i am working on trying to go back and so i am filled with hope about seeing the cute Joseph again.


One of the biggest things that happened what a few days before i left.... i got malaria... and was admitted into the hospital... just for a 2 days. it was a really not that bad. Malaira is just like getting the flu in the US. they know exactly how to treat it and you are able to bounce back pretty easily. One of the greatest part about getting spending my last days in uganda in the hospital was that the team all came and had their dinner in the hospital room with me. Only our team could make a hospital stay fun. we watched a movie and at what our cook Sam had made us. It was comforting to have the team there.

I was released from the Hospital Tuesday afternoon and went into a frenzie of saying goodbye to as many people as i could and then got a taxi wednesday morning and it is all kind of a blur how i was able to get home. i was on pain medication for the Malaria. But i honestly think it was a blessing. I wasn't ready to leave uganda, i wanted to stay. I didn't know how i was going to emotionally handle having to leave all of the people i have grown to love and care about. Having little time to say goodbye and not having the ability to fully process it helped me to be able to get on the plane. 

Cute Baby Cyrus!

Teaching the Pukani

Wild Hearts Can't be Broken..

Teaching Joseph how to dance! 

How can you not fall in love with these kids!

Joseph Joseph Joseph.... Cami Cami Cami! 

I don't know how to wrap up my experience of being in Uganda and i think its going to stay that way. because my experience with Uganda is just the beginning. There is no wrap up. just a start.

Auntie Cam

I was walking in Namatala the other day, just leaving Child of Hope. Its a normal day and i am walking down the path that i always take with children hanging on each arm when i hear the voices of 2 children yell in their sweet voices "Auntie Cam"! i turn around and there are two sweet girls sprinting down the path with their arms wide open running to me so that i can give them a big hug. Yeah, it was one of the most tender moments. no longer is it Muzungu.... it's Auntie Cam, and im at peace!

I know my status... and it was a long road to get there...

When i first got to the woman's health class and we talked about HIV i was completely unprepared. To be honest i didn't have enough time to help Kara to prepare the curriculum i was planning on having Kara talk most of the time. She did a great job and the class was really excited about the testing. The best part was she raised her hand and said, when can we get tested. We were so excited about that question because we had been mulling around the idea of having an HIV testing day. Having such a positive reaction made me excited to actually go through with trying to put together the testing day. One of the Country Directors Holly had worked with a an HIV agency or something and knew so much about it and so with the right motivation we set to work to make it happen. We taught the rest of the woman's health classes and talked with the Aids Information Center that would be giving the HIV testing, providing counseling, and treatment. All for free. This was very exciting. So about a week ago with just a week to go we had made "I know my status" handkerchiefs that we gave out as an incentive for coming.

The registration process to help us with the HIV support group...

These people were waiting for their test results.... I kind of know how they are feeling......

So on the day of the testing it went really really well! all of us that were working had decided that we would get tested to help the people feel more comfortable and we were also nervous that people weren't  gong to come so we thought that if they knew that mzungu's were getting tested then they might come.
And let me tell you it was a roller coaster of emotions for me. All the week leading up to it i was completely comfortable with it because there was no possible way that i would have HIV. but on that day i started to get incredibly nervous, i started thinking, i went to the hospital last week and got some blood work, they put a needle in me what if it was infected and now i am HIV.... i don't think i can handle that. or what if there was some other random way it was transmitted.... i started thinking of all of the possibilities of how i could come up positive. And i got so nervous i didn't want to get tested.
everyone that was working that day had all gone and gotten tested, and i felt so nervous in my stomach. But everyone kept telling me it was going to be fine and i should just go and do it. So i finally went in and was incredibly nervous.

We handed out some fun posters, condoms, a pamphlet and the awesome hankies.

Holly having the awkward counseling lady

They have you go to a counselor first and i felt so awkward as she was asking me questions like when the last time i had had sex was, and if i had a boyfriend, and how many partners have i had..... i am sure she thought i was lying when i told her i ahve had no partners and i don't have a boyfriend either. and i remember thinking... even in i did, i don't think i would have told her. she was a perfect stranger. So got through that incredibly awkward experience and then they sent me to the guy to prick my finger and do the actual testing. i sat there with the biggest butterflies in my stomach, i was even arguing in my head to calm down, i know i didn't have HIV. So we did the test, which when he pricks your finger KILLS i was not expecting it to hurt that bad. i have a pic of my reaction. But when i got the test back and it was negative, i was so relieved. i felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. it was a great relief. and then i started thinking...

We really liked the hankie idea :) 

how would i have handled that if there were a possiblity of me being positive. first off i don't know if i would have had the courage to go. even with all the knowldege that i have gained in teaching about HIV and how its not a lie sentence. i still don't know if i would have the strength to go. It made me think of a few of the woman that we work really closely with that didn't have the happy announcement that i did that was negative. They were positive. There were two woman that i am particulaly attached to and it hit me. their lives are changed forever by this simple test. Something that takes 10 minutes can alter your life dramatically and i was bringing that change in to their lives. these two woman now have the added stress in their life to make sure that they get their treatment, which they have to pay for, which they don't have the money to do. And their sicknesses are taken more serious, they have to be more careful when they get a simple but on their hand, or if they scrape their knee they have to be cautious. Long were the days where they could be carefree in that way.

Her mother was getting tested and so we were glad to keep her occupied until she was done :) 

I went in knowing that there was no possible way for me to be positive and yet i almost didn't have the strength to do it. i commend the ones that came with the possiblity of them being positive, it took so much courage. They knew that it was more important to be informed and take care of it so that they could provide for their families and be around long enough to hopefully see their children grow up.
I know that some of the people that came were very very surprised when they found out they were positive, either because they were in a very stable marriage and their partner was negative when they got married and the results came back positive. which brings on a whole other set of questions.
or you are a mother that is working very hard everyday to provide for you kids and you are starting to get on top of providing for your children and then you find out that your positive.
We tested 317 people from the Namatala slum and only 12 people came back positive. Which when you look at the percentage that is less than 4% of HIV in namatala. But to the lives of the 12 people, their lives have been changed forever. My hope is that we will be able to continue to give them counseling and knowledge so that those 12 can be given the support that they need and be able to continue to be there for their children and live their lives to the fullest.

I was so nervous and i wasn't very good at hiding it....

i wasn't brave, that prick on the finger REALLY REALLY hurt.

I have a new respect for the strength it takes to be willing to receive information that at first will feel like your world is crushed, but then you pick yourself back up, remember the things that you have to do in life and keep moving. It really is better to know, even if the knowledge is scary. I don't think i could have comprehended just how much doing this HIV testing would effect my life but it has. And i am grateful for the experience.

watering it up...

So one project that has begun to take up my life is the Water Filter project. We have been training, and implementing water filters wednesday's and Friday's the last couple of weeks and it was been really fun. Its great to see the people come together and pool their money together so that they can have a water filter and have clean water for their families and communities. Child of Hope has been such an incredible partner in making sure that we are implementing them in places that the people will appreciate them and use them to their fullest potential. Pius, Shadrach, and Evelyn have been the Welfare workers that have been taking us to the communities and mobilizing them for us to teach. it has been inspirational to be able to see them work so hard for the people of Namatala and it has made me appreciate them so much more!

This is at Child of Hope where the children are able to get clean water during school... doesn't he have the cutest eyes!!!!!

This is Pius and Shadrach whom i absolutely love! they are the interpreters that take us around to the water filter places. two of the most sincere people!

There is nothing more rewarding then when you come to a certain community that has been mobilized by the Shadrach, Evelyn or Pius and they are waiting for you and have seats set out in a circle, and their money all collected and their water manager elected. it makes you so excited! At times we go to places that by our standards are not where we want place the filters, but then i think about it. Clean water is a basic human right! and there are so many people that have such a look of eager need for the water filters. There is so much happiness in their eyes that is contagious and they have such an attentiveness in their posture. Its so wonderful to be able to be bringing this water to them. Im trying to think of a way to continue after i leave... suggestions will be accepted :) 

This is how we transport the water drums to Namatala, its quite entertaining. 

I love his SUPERMAN shirt!!!!! so cute!

yep, got the teaching face on :) 

Oh yeah, i got ringworm on my arm... No Big Deal.....

Thank You....

So, yesterday was the 4th of July and it was interesting spending it in a different continent, culture, and countr. The day went on as a normal wednesday for everyone except after our days work we had planned an incredible meal and invited our friends and a few partners too. We made Hamburgers, potato salad, sweet potato fries, a greek salad, corn on the cob, watermelon ( one of my favorite items), a pineapple and banana salad. and for dessert a friend brought brownies, and we made rice krispies!!!!! with nutella instead of marshmallows because when we tried to find them and everyone laughed at us because they had NO idea what we were talking about. but i was so excited for the rice krispies! And we put up a volleyball net and had a couple rounds of volley ball. it was really fun! we invited the Elders over and a few of the branch members, and had about 30 people there. It was so much fun!!!! but we made way too much food. We were so afraid that we weren't going to have enough food that we prepared way too much. In America that is no big problem because that just means that we get left overs for a few days which i don't mind left overs. however, we have a very small fridge that doesn't fit very much. So we didn't know what to do with them. We just figured we would send an extra plate home with everyone and then eat as much as we could before it spoiled. So as i was munching on a few of the snacks and talking with Alexis a friend of ours Freddy was talking with us and he kept telling us to keep eating because there are starving children in Africa. I remember the first day that i got here Freddy took us out to eat and i got something that i didn't really like and he turned to me and was like, eat up, there are starving children outside. I felt so guilty that i ate even more and tried to clean my plate. So as we were talking again about it he was just teasing me but we talked about that and how i felt so guilty about it. And then alexis said something like, Well, since we are here how do we get the food to the starving children?... She said it sarcastically but Freddy took it seriously. And thats when the greatest idea began. Freddy said that last year he had gone with the other HELP team once a month to LITERALLY feed the starving children in Africa. You always hear horror stories here about people going out and giving food to people and the people getting very aggressive in getting their food and fights happenings. So i was a little nervous about going but i trusted Freddy. When we got to where we were going to give out the food it was so great! Freddy told the children to get in a line and they immediately formed into a line. And then we gave them a paper plate and then they went down the line and we gave them food. the faces of these sweet sweet children. I don't know how to describe it. they would just stand there with they plates and stare at the food as we put in on. then once their plate was full they ran and sat down on the ground and just started eating. It was so overwhelming to see just how many kids there were that were living on the street. Who literally have no one to look after them.

There was a few of the boys that came up to us after they had eaten their food and in the most sincere voice said  "Thank You". These boys live on the streets, they don't go to school, and I just recently saw them riding in the back of a truck that was literally full of garbage that they rummage through to find any food that they can get. They don't have a mother to tuck them in at night, they don't even have a place to sleep that is protected. BUT they were grateful for the food that we were able to give them and came back and said Thank You. I wanted to take them all home with me and tuck them into my bed, and give them the care that they need, and sent them to school and give them food so that they will be healthy.

There was one boy that particularly hit my heart. He ate some of the food but he wasn't use to the American food that we gave him so he didn't eat too much. And he just stood there and i felt so bad so i put my hand on his head  to give him some comfort and he backed up and leaned against my legs and i just sat there and held him for a minute. He was probably about 10 years old and I just thought to myself i wonder how often or if any he was able to receive positive affection.

water filters

Water filters!!!!! I am really excited, because a project that i have been working on since i got here is finally starting to see results. ill give you a little backgroud. When i first got here to Mbale we were taken by one of our previous partners Child of Hope to tour around the Namatala Slums... yeah, that name probably sounds familiar because now a days its where i spend most of my time. So we went and saw where previous Help volunteers had implemented water filters, and they were doing great! So since then me and Kara and actually most of the team have been working to be able to get water filters in the slums. i remember first having a frank conversation with Philip, (the MAN! i think i posted a pic of him last time) After we had begun teaching sanitation in the community in preparation of talking with them about water filters. We had been trying to figure out how many filters we needed and could not get a number... and it was getting really frustrating trying to create a project without a number to work with. So i finally said Philip, i know you have a number in your head of how many filters you would like to have... just tell me that number so that i have something to work with. He finally very very shyly said... 50....Great! so basically as many as possible, so we went back to the team and researched and looked at prices and tried to figure out just how many water filters we could get. 

She's got a itch, but shes is so cute!!!

Doesn't she just have such a great pose, and i love the brother in the background trying to not be interested but completely is.

So.... after many many weeks i am so excited to report that we will be putting 30 filters in Namatala!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah i am so excited about it. We had started to identify communities where we would implement the water filters. I have been teaching about sanitation and it was the best when we went back they had kept their jerri cans clean and they were trying their best do be more sanitary. So we told them that if they were willing we wanted to bring in a water filter for their community. it was cute because as i was telling them and the interpreter was interpreting i was waiting for that moment when they would get all excited and say YES! but they just smiled and in a soft voice was like yes, that would be great. i felt like i was more excited than they were so i asked them if they were excited and it was so sweet. this one woman named Peace said, we are so happy inside we dont' know how to show it outside. my heart melted. i love doing what i am doing! i will have to update you on when we implement the filters. its gonna be great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my faces are pretty great in these pictures... i have weird facial expressions.

apparently Pious was saying something very important to which i was paying very close attention. 

He was very interested in my teaching as you can see  :)  

yup, theres that weird teaching face again.

Don't mind the chickens while we teach 

Peace is the one in the blue tank top, shes so great! This is just some of the group that will get the water filter.

i was playing a song on my Iphone and dancing to it. they were pretty entertained.

thats a smirk if i ever saw one :) 

Muzungubye... the keiki's think its one word...

Quick update on deborah

She has started school!!! yahoo. a few of the girls here have decided to sponsor her... i helped a little and then Carlee is going to set up an account. it only costs 160 dollars a term for her to go to school... so Carlee is really excited about that!

We also have been working with a great group of woman and the Slum in Namatala. They come from the Karamajong tribe. They are the lowest of the lowest group of woman. they are also in their own specific woman's group and it is really fun to get to know them. 

i was really nervous before our lesson today because we had tried to teach them about family planning and the lesson went horribly wrong! They were really upset because we weren't going to give them free contraceptions. which we actually could have done but we didn't know that they wanted that. and our translator was having trouble telling them what we were saying and we walked out of there feeling like we had failed. it was my first reality that we are dealing with real issues and i have no qualifications to teach these people about the lives that they live every single day. I need to learn so much from them. sure i come from a place that is "more developed" but that means that i have no idea what kind of struggles these people go through everyday. It was a huge reality check and to be completely frank it kinda made me feel like i shouldn't be here… I'm  just wasting time trying to do good when its not going to make a difference and i felt like i was just making it worse… if that is possible. 

This sweet girls name is Gifty... how cute is that!

So even though i felt like i should give up, my stubbornness i guess wouldn't allow me, so the following week we brought in a local organization that works with family planning and it went great. So that gave me the idea that we should just partner with the local organizations that are trying to deal with the issues that we come across and then the people we work with will have a place to go once we leave. Yahoo

This was a pamphlet on Family Planning with pictures and everything.. the children liked the paper  

so our next lesson was going to be on HIV and i was so incredibly nervous for it because we had found an organization that would do the free HIV testing but they weren't going to be able to come with us as we taught it so me and Kara asked the organization all the questions we had and asked any advise that they would like to give us because to be honest i was completely terrified that i would completely botch it again. So with a prayer in my heart and as much information as i could get into my brain me and Kara set off to teach the Karamajong woman again about a topic that was very much a reality in their lives and something i didn't really know much about personally. I have never met someone that has HIV and i don't live my life with the risk of getting it. So yes, i was completely feeling like i had nothing to teach these woman but then the other side of me felt like maybe there were some misconceptions about it and even in they did know about HIV they must not know enough to go and get tested… so they really did need it! Which gave me some comfort. So Kara and I talked and taught them and the lesson was actually going really fast and I got a little worried. Then when we had talked about all of the material that we had prepared. we asked if there were any questions and one girl raised her hand and said " when can we get tested"? seriously that was music to my ears! The organization that we had talked to wanted to do a HIV testing and so we told them that we would talk to them and let them know next week when the testing will be. The best part about it is that they will give the testing and then  counsel them no matter what the results and if they test positive they will give them the medication they need too so that they aren't left high and dry. Its really exciting that it was a success because i was really actually worried about it. so i am glad that it went well. 

Also, great great great news! we got donated 5 water filters and they are already in country so we can get the implemented quickly! AND…. our indiegogo website has been able to raise almost all the money that we need to be able to implement almost 36 water filters in the slums as well. Im so excited to get this project off of the ground and be able to see it change so may people's lives! i have been teaching sanitation in the slum community that pass couple of weeks and i have really gotten to know the people that we will be implementing the filters with and they are some incredible people!!! 

These are the devoted men that come even when we are talking about a women's cycle... they are troopers!

Starting young 

I look deep in thought... about family planning?....

This is Kalei, i love her smile, and she has a great laugh

This woman i can't remember her name but she is always so animated when she talks i almost get worried that she is mad about something. but he just likes to speak very sternly

Pastor Philip, a man that make Child of Hope run so smoothly and who is AMAZING and has the biggest heart and Great people skills... i feel like i could go on about how incredible he is!!!!!

ill have to take some pictures of the groups of woman and post them. They are such great people that i wish i could talk about each of them individually because they have such great lives!