My team?

so today my soccer team played their first conference game, the first one where i was present but not on the team. i really didn't know how hard it was going to be. i thought that i was going to be ok. i mean, im the one that decided to not play right? i should be fine. well i wasn't fine. i started crying about 2 minutes into their warm up. all the memories of being a soccer player came rushing back into my memeory and as i was wollowing in my own self pity trying to remember why it was that i decided to not do one of the most important things to me i hear one of my now former teammates yell " cami, come here!" so i look over and she tells me to come over and asks me to lead the E Ku Mau Mau chant we do at the beginning of each game. i literally jumped up and ran into the circle. chanting with "my team" healed my heart! it made me feel a part of something. it made me realize that eventhough im not "on" the team that doesn't mean that i don't have them. when your on a team you build a foundation. this foundation doesn't go away just because circumstances change. they are a part of your life forever and i think thats what i need to be learning now. because times change and people change but that doesn't mean that what you shared together ever changes. so in memory of my former life as a BYUH Soccer player i have attached this video. it will forever be a part of my heart

a new life

so when you get off your mission you sit and try to prepare yourself for what it will be like when you change.. i don' think there is any possible way you can know just how much your life is going to change and how confused you are going to be and how alone you are going to feel 90% of the time.... shouldn't we be prepared for this somehow? i feel as if i missed that prep class.
so i am sitting in my new house with blue walls, wondering if im weird or not and thinking well weird or not at least im in hawaii and i can enjoy the beach and get a good tan while try to figure out what to do with the rest of my life... so my new life... the one with out the tag, its confusing and hard but if there is one thing that i learned its that i trust the Lord. so i guess ill go off that for a while.